Robert on Robert
Robert, Robert Lardon. Executive Chef! Maybe not now, but someday. And sooner rather than later! There was more talent in his fingertips than any chef in the state. In the country! Only Keller was his equal. Waters was a simpleton. Colicchio a sellout. Trotter, well Trotter...And the rubes in culinary school. The bottom of his clogs had a better palate!
Robert, pronounced Roe-bare mind you, Lardon. The pretentious bastard with an ego unequaled as it was unwarranted. He was born Robert Langdon, pronounced Raw-burt, Langdon. The only child of a neurotic and a homosexual. He's been cooking for 6 months. It doesn't matter what he did before then.
He's 5 feet 10 inches tall with broad shoulders. Above his broad shoulders is a very fat head. On top of his very fat head is a mess of very pale, very thin, slightly curly blond hair. The majority of it is usually plastered to his head, due to his constant sweating, the rest sticks up in little tufts. There's always a good bit of scalp showing. Either streaking through the sweaty stuff or in patches at the base of the tufts.
He has tiny red ears. Bright red, like a baboons ass. His lips are always open and slightly curled, it's almost as if both the top and bottom are trying to smirk. His eyes are bright blue and very small. Very ratlike, if not for the color, there's always fear showing in them. On top of that fear is a disgusting amount of self confidence. Eyes with that kind of emotion behind them can't be expected to provide a healthy outlook on the world.
His nose has two nostrils.One on each side.
To put it simply, Robert looks like he'd smell like baby vomit.
And, just in case you're really inquisitive, under his broad shoulders is about 300 lbs of fat.